Attachments create Resistance
“Attachment is the source of all suffering.”
- Buddha -
I know that all of us have goals & wishes that we want to fulfill and would like to have, and yes! you can find some people that stress on the fact that they “need to get them fulfilled” rather than want or desire. And when you ask them “why?” they will answer you that they won’t be able to survive without it, or they won’t be happy without it, or worse “like & accept themselves without it”. And that’s the thing my friends, when you need something then you are creating an attachment. And what we know so far about attachment is that they create resistance. So what are we going to do about it? Actually we have 2 ways to do that, the first is to detach by stopping ourselves from thinking of it & needing it, and the second way is to dig deeper in the “why” why do we think we need it? is it out of fear? Abandonment? Failure?…etc. and once we learn the why we can then unlearn & change what we know so we learn something new that will help us in attracting what we want with higher vibration and an easier flow.
So let’s dig deeper… first things first… what is the meaning of attachment? there are many meanings for it; here are some:
Attachment can be defined as a deep and enduring emotional bond between two people in which each seeks closeness and feels more secure when in the presence of the attachment figure. (according to www.simplypsychology.org)
According to the dictionary of Cambridge, Attachment is a feeling of love or strong connection to someone or something, a feeling of security.
In philosophy Attachment is the inability to practice or embrace detachment, is viewed as the main obstacle towards a serene and fulfilled life. Many other spiritual traditions identify the lack of detachment with the continuous worries and restlessness produced by desire and personal ambitions.
Attachment is having expectations
And if we dig deeper even more, we will find that there are 4 types of attachment, which get formed at a young age, probably when we were infants & kids… lets talk about them below:
Secure: It’s basically self explanatory, it’s when a child feels secure when the caregiver responds directly.
Avoidant: Often ignoring. Is when a child seeks less attention & comfort from the caregiver, because the caregiver often responds.
Ambivalent: The uncertainty attachment. When the child is not sure whether to find comfort in the caregiver, as the caregiver shows uncertainty and inconsistence in caring in various events & occasions.
Disorganized: Negligence. This is formed when a child avoids interactions with others and is fearful. Their behavior won’t change whether the caregiver is there or not.
So now we can acknowledge that all attachment behaviors are created at an early age, which helps us understand our attachment behavior patterns better. So, let’s move forward and discuss how we can shift our being operating from a low frequency of attachment (attachment to an outcome or result) to a higher frequency which is attracting what we really desire…
“Non-attachment is not the elimination of desire. It is the spaciousness to allow any quality of mind, any thought or feeling, to arise without closing around it, without eliminating the pure witness of being. It is an active receptivity to life.”
- Stephen Levine -
How?? Well, it all starts from your intention… from the WHY and not the HOW.
Let’s say you have an intention then you have a certain focus on an outcome & intend to bring that into fruition. Fruition means the realization or fulfilment of a plan or project. Therefore you need to tune in into a higher vibration so you can attract what you want with ease. Now the trick is when you want to set an intention, pay attention to it. Is your intention based on getting you a specific result or it is based on a higher vibration & for a greater value? In other words, does your intention only serves you? or is it ecological? ex: are you making the video to get more likes and be famous or you are making the video to share with the world something beneficial? When your intention serves more people the universe has a faster way for you to attract it, it will conspire to give you a faster result & the best outcome. And The magic happens when you let go of the “how” & “the outcome” that allows you to tap more into the intention of being (is that every person is born to contribute something unique, to himself and to others).
Attachment carries with it the side effect of resistance. If we are attached to circumstances being in a certain way, and they don’t match our wishes, we resist what is happening. It is when one is attached to wanting things a certain way and is greatly resisting the present circumstances or moment. And as a result is suffering tremendously because one is not accepting what is and not being in the now (not present).
Letting go of attachment means accepting & receiving what is happening, without resisting. We hold our desires very lightly and stay open to what actually occurs. Even if it is the last thing we would ever want to happen.
“Anything you can’t control is teaching you how to let go.”
- Jackson Kiddard -
Finally, I would like to say that there is nothing wrong with being attached. But if we want peace, if we want to truly enjoy the moments of our lives, can we surrender into reality?! Sometimes all you need to do is to silence the mind and open the heart more & trust the process and you will receive more than you ever expected or wished for. Just be true to yourself & your intentions.
Be present, be in the now…
