SELF-DOUBT… Did I do the Right Thing?

We all have these moments… When we think and overthink of What we did or how we reacted… and self doubt creeps in and we are there… lost in our thoughts… not being able to accept what has happened… Maybes and If Only’s start playing different scenarios in our thoughts so we can feel a little better about the situation… so our egos try to manipulate the situation, and no matter what we do, say, think or wonder about… The situation is still the same, It won’t change, because it is in the past.

Self doubt; according to Cambridge dictionary is a feeling of having no confidence in your abilities or decisions.

There are different reasons why people experience self-doubt, it might be past experiences & mistakes, comparison to others, childhood up-bringing, new challenges, fear of failure and sometimes it’s the fear of success. But why really do we do that… ??

According to many NLP studies and physiologists, a little self-doubt is a healthy attitude when a person is checking if he or she can improve or learn from the situation, however if self-doubt happens to be a state of being then it’s the easiest way for self destruction, and that needs to be stopped. There are many ways in which you can get rid of self doubt to become a more confident leader or person. Here are some ways:

1 - Stop making Excuses; “because we have the fear of failure” or sometimes “worry what others will think about us”, we tend to find excuses for doubting ourselves and the decisions we made. What needs to be done here, is that you stop worrying about what people might think of you (in other words hush your ego), and focus on what you are doing so you can make better decisions. And as Steven Pressfield says: "The enemy is our chattering brain, which, if we give it so much as a nanosecond, will start producing excuses, alibis, transparent self-justifications, and a million reasons why we can't/shouldn't/won't do what we know we need to do." 

2 - Be Accountable; for you to stop doubting yourself always be aware of what you are saying and doing, reacting in a situation is what always gets us in trouble, so when you are in a situation where you do not like, accept it as a start and then take yourself out of the situation and think of how you can act, what will your response be? When you are aware of the situation and fully aware of your actions, you will know exactly how to act and know your thoughts and feelings about the situation.

3 - Know your VALUES; when you are familiar with your values and you believe in them, your unconscious mind will always support you in seeing things from your values’ point of view. So trust that little voice inside of you, and trust your gut feelings also. Your gut feeling can feel the energy that surrounds the situation or person you are with, and will help you know when there is a threat, a challenge or a situation.

4 - FORGIVE yourself; always remind yourself that you are human, and humans make mistakes so they can learn from them. Learn to forgive yourself because if you were sitting with your best friend and you see him or her being too hard on himself or herself, you will automatically tell them to stop doubting themselves or torturing themselves over something that cannot be changed anymore, you will tell them to accept what happened and forgive themselves and learn for next time to do better. And that is how you should treat yourself. With a lot of compassion, understanding and unconditional love, and always remember you are the ultimate best friend for yourself.

“The inner speech, your thoughts, can cause you to be rich or poor, loved or unloved, happy or unhappy, attractive or unattractive, powerful or weak.” 
— Ralph Charell

5 - Take a moment to Reward yourself & Celebrate your wins; self-doubt can be eliminated when you start rewarding yourself for the things you do right. When you celebrate your wins (small or big) you build a connection of trust between you and your unconscious mind to be more aware and to perform even better.

6 - The Company you Keep; make sure that you know who you are surrounding yourself with. If you are working on building your confidence level, stay away from people who try to bring you down, so protect yourself from them. According to Dr. John Kounios, professor of psychology and brain science at Drexel University, our neural connections change even after a 20-minute conversation! Who do you spend the most time with? What effect do they have on you? When you spend time with them, do you walk away feeling better about yourself or worse?

“Don’t let others put thoughts into your mind that takes away your self-confidence. ”
— Katori Hall

There are many different ways to stop self-doubt and be more confident at work or in your personal life, and I felt like sharing these points as they might help you or anyone you know to overcome it. And sometimes self-doubt is a limiting belief that needs to be removed by a professional NLP practitioner, and sometimes when you know your whys, you can find the right way to overcome self-doubt. And always remember that “no one knows what is really going inside your head except you”. Be kind to yourself, learn from your mistakes and stop worrying about what people will think of you.

“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.”
—Norman Vincent Peale

Continue having a very nice day!

Sources:
Do The Work! Overcome Resistance And Get Out Of Your Own Way by Steven Pressfield.
The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, Rewire your mind by Dr Shauna Shapiro
Article by American Express “8 Ways Highly Successful People Overcome Self-Doubt”