LOVE… Why do we keep attracting toxic people?

LOVE is Great… LOVE is a many splendored thing… LOVE takes us where we belong… LOVE is sticking together no matter what happens… and also LOVE is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE… Well, I am not saying that all the above is right, I am only stating that LOVE’s meaning is different from one person to another.

In general, you feel love toward your life, your family members, your friends, your partner (Lover) and animals (pets) and other things that may or may not be in your life. That being said, we often see people being around toxic people, whether friendship or being in a relationship. When the relations start, one would really love these people so much and give them more of his or her energy, affection, time and sometimes you can hear one is saying “I Gave EVERYTHING I have, but it’s not enough”… and towards the end, one will feel that something is not working properly, that he or she is more invested or misunderstood or being abused and many other unwanted feelings… and that is what we call TOXIC. Fights would arise, constant battle over power, over who is better, over who has it all figured out! Arguments over nothing really! just for the sake of arguments with no intention of having common grounds or clear understanding… I think you get what I am saying here… Yea??

So Why… Why does that happen… and better yet… Why do we keep falling in the same pattern??!

First I like to explain something that is simple but not necessarily known. LOVE is an energy, and it is one of the highest energies in existence. Yet, Unconditional LOVE is even Higher and the rarest, only around 0.04 % of the population know how to access unconditional love frequency & live by it.

Second, to love with your EGO is not LOVE, it’s just EGO tricking you into thinking & doing what serves it, because you are not your ego, your ego has a mind of it’s own, so be mindful & aware. When you love with your EGO, love is tainted, all you will see, feel and think is ran first by your ego and then said or reacted by you.

Third, each of us, females and males, have masculine & feminine energies within us and they are CORE Energies, and we are entitled to have them, feel them & make use of them. Now, lets define them… Feminine energy, It is like WATER, it is creative, it is loving and it loves beauty, it is nurturing, it is supportive, it is intuitive, intelligent, empathetic, stormy yet smooth, and emotional that’s why decisions are majorly made by the heart, and it’s also receptive thats why it uses the right side of the brain. However, too much feminine energy, can come across as weak and loss of personal power. Masculine energy, it is like FIRE, loves to build, to fix, to DO (Actions), wants to protect & provide, it is stable & confident, it craves direction & purpose. It is analytical & uses the left brain for decision making. When masculine energy is misused, it can end in ego, anger, resentment, and have inner conflict.

Fourth, unresolved TRAUMA.

Fifth and most important, when you deny yourself Love, you will attract people who either do not love themselves too, or love themselves too much that they will make you love yourself even LESS.

So now that I’ve shared with you some information, we can know more about how the above can affect us in reliving our old patterns, and attracting people that are toxic.

I explained above that living by your ego, is not the right thing to do, because you see… the ego cares about itself, it cares that it is always right and it always gets what it wants in anyway possible. The ego actually distract us by giving us tooooo much to think about (creating delusions) so it feels in control. And that is what the EGO is doing to it’s environment (habitat). So, when you are not aware of it harming you, imagine how it will affect your relationships!
OKAY… Yes…. I get it, some of you now are saying… but the ego protects us, it actually got us where we are in life… Because of it, we learn even more and become better. YES THAT IS TRUE, but that is because you are controlling your ego and mindful of how to use it. What I said earlier was for the people who are LIVING by the EGO MODE, this will affect their life a lot because the fact is YOU ATTRACT WHO YOU ARE AND NOT WHO YOU WANT. So if you are living with your ego you will only be attracted to people who have BIG EGOs as well and Imagine how TOXIC this relationship would be “Friendship or lovers/partners”.

Now, moving on to our core energies… And this where it all begins… See because we are created by both energies, some of us have been raised to believe that we should not act in a certain way or feel certain feelings or ask for something just because we might not be seen or viewed as MANLY enough or FEMININE enough. So we get to be taught to block these feelings (block natural energy flow) and deny ourselves from being truthful and authentic.
So let’s say… You are a man who was brought up on the idea that a man (really a boy) should never cry, and should never ask for love because he is strong, that the man is always right because he does not ask his heart for advice… so you grow up to attract women who deny themselves to be Loved, to be compassionate, and they have less feminine energy, you will be attracted to a woman who loves to work with no vision of having a family, has no room for empathy or less empathic, that is always head to head with you...etc. And that’s because You Attract Who You Are and NOT Who You Want! And because you are denying yourself these innate emotions that god gave you, you will always end up with people who deny themselves as well, and are not authentic to themselves and their feelings.

So women now, I will give you an example. Let’s say you deny yourself to be loved, and to be pampered, and you really believe that you CAN DO ANYTHING & EVERYTHING on your OWN. Well, guess what!! You will get a partner that will depend on you, and will be less active (less action, less masculine energy), will want you to be everything for him. Because your feminine energy is wounded, you will attract someone whos masculine energy is wounded too.

TRAUMA… now lets discover that… so we spoke that when you deny yourself your core energies you will cause yourself unnecessary experiences, and also you will wound yourself along the way… and that might cause Trauma. And sometimes you are true to your emotions & energy and LIFE HAPPENS, so you meet some people that are wounded, but instead of YOU LEARNING from the incident, you take it in, put it somewhere in your unconscious mind, store it and let it LASH OUT when you feel threatened. So again, Trauma cause your energy to be off balance, and when you are off balance you are unable to see clearly or think mindfully. You will live by probably FEAR or ANGER or REGRET or SELF-BLAME, and that will cause your resourcefulness to decrease over time, and live with your negative emotions, that will affect your thoughts and your thoughts actually determine the life that you live, not only the people that you have!

LOVING YOURSELF is so important on so many levels, layers and frequencies, when you do not love yourself, you do not even know the meaning of love, so how will you love another person. It’s just like a Glass of WATER, if you are empty how will you pour water for another? When you are full you will satisfy your thirst and the other person. Now LOVE yourself MINDFULLY and with awareness so you can distinguish between love and selfishness.

This subject is really DEEP, and I can go on till tomorrow talking about it and what affects us, and how it can affects us. Now I am only sharing this much… and in the future we will revisit the subject deeper… If you have any inquires or concerns, I AM HERE to help, so drop me an email or connect with me through Instagram direct messaging….

Continue having a very nice day…

Sources:
Books: ”letting go”, “the power of now”, “open her”, “the power of energies”, studied and findings by Tony Robins and Dr. Joe Dispenza